Can I Live Twice?
by Freaking Funtoosh
Summary: A man who is forced to live for the sake of someone very close to him after his first life betrayed him is trying his level best to cope up with whatever comes in his way. Will he really succeed and start living second time? Will he be able to start afresh? Peep inside to get answers to these questions.
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N : My first try. Was a bit nervous and so, can only manage this much in one go.**_

_**Please read the story and do tell how is it. Even if you dislike, please convey. Will wait for the reviews :).**_

As soon as Innova stopped and the person on the passenger seat descended, an uneasiness in the environment, internal as well as external, could be felt by the chauffer sitting inside and continuously looking at the image which was going away from him. He continued this feat for some more time and then bobbing his head sideways in dejection, he shifted his gaze back to the front and ignited the engine which spluttered for few seconds before roaring and finally, propelling the vehicle. The man who was treading, rather dragging himself, after realising his friend's departure turned back, sighed deeply and sadly and said, "I am sorry Daya. I am trying my friend but it is becoming more and more difficult for me every passing moment to comprehend the situations and fathom the happenings. I can't get over that loss. I need some time, (in a very low tone) probably my entire lifetime." And moved on.

He pushed open the door after unlocking it and entered inside the house, which was once a home with shrieks of laughter and lively voices resonating the now turned dull and lifeless walls. After scanning the living room, he made his way to the kitchen from where some very feeble clashing noises were coming. As he reached he could find an aged man putting the utensils on the designated racks. He moved forward and poured himself a glass of water and started drinking it slowly, he was sipping actually, while being in some other world. A shaking and fumbling but experienced voice made him snap out of the thoughts as, "Aa gaye beta? Tumhara hi intezar kar raha tha. Hath dho lo jake. Main khana laga deta hoon."

Man : Nahin Kaka, rehne dijiye. Main kha kar aaya hoon. With this he started towards his room but stopped all of a sudden and said, "Apne dawayi li?"

Kaka (stamping his hand on his head) : Are, woh to bhool hi gaya. Pata hi nahin...he stopped realising the constant stare that was meant for his carelessness and hanged his head down.

Man : (while tearing off the tablet leaf) Kyon ap apna bilkul khayal nahin rakhte hain? Khansi hai, kal bukhar bhi tha. Kaha tha ki yeh sab mat karna lekin, khair, yeh ligiye (forwarding the tablet and a glass of water to him) aur ab jakar so jaiyye. Ye sab main kar loonga.

Kaka : Lekin tum...

Man : Kaka, please. [Kaka began to leave without any further arguments as he knew that it would be of no use, when a hesitant voice stopped him as...] w..o..h...woh main puch raha tha k..i..

Kaka (replied instantly knowing well what would be the question to him) : Woh tumhara intezar karte karte so gaya. Wahan sofe par hi so gaya tha, woh to main hi kamre mein lekar gaya.

Man : Hmm..Khana khaya?

Kaka : Haan, lekin badi mushkil se. Keh raha tha ki tum ayoge toh tumhare sath hi khayega.

Man (smiling ruefully) : Haan, kaha tha ki aj jaldi aa jayunga lekin ek high profile case aa gaya aur main phir late ho gaya. (taking deep breath) Main kabhi uski khwaishein puri nahin kar paunga. Isliye keh raha tha ki

Kaka : Nahin, kabhi nahin. (meaningfully) Use khaishein nahin tumhari zarurat hai. Agar wo yahan se gaya toh sab bikhar jayega, sab. Woh bhi, tum bhi aur yeh ghar bhi.

Man : (sadly) Bikharne ke liye kuch bacha hi kahan hai, kaka. Sab kuch toh khatam sa hi lagta hai.

Kaka : (keeping his hands on his shoulders) Main zyada kuch toh nahin kahunga Abhijeet, lekin bas yeh kahunga ki kabhi kabar apne nahin apne bachchon ke liye jeena padta hai, nayi shuruwaat karni padti hai aur apne hoton par muskurahat lani padti hai.

Abhijeet : Jaanta hoon Kaka. Koshish kar raha hoon. Lekin ab yeh zindagi bemaani si lagti hai. (teary angry eyes) Nafrat hoti hai apne ap se. Woh din bhulaaye nahin bhulaaya jata. Phir[...and his throat chocked. He was trying his best not to let his brimming eyes flow. He took two deep sighs in order to compose himself. And then continued...] Bahut raat ho gayi hai Kaka, aap so jaiyye. Main bhi yeh sab samet kar room mein hi ja raha hoon.

Kaka nodded and left the place. After doing the chores, he entered inside his room and smiled through tears seeing that tiny and slender figure sleeping peacefully under the blanket. Some thoughts instantly made their way into his mind but he, shaking his head slightly, took the towel from the cupboard and entered the washroom. Splashing water on his face and then wiping the wet face with his hands only, he looked at his own reflection into the mirror that was mocking him. Every time he looks himself into this one sided painted glass, he imprecates his own self, curses his decision to move on in life and pities on his helplessness. And this time also, it was no different. But he has to control his emotions for the person who is always there wanting his presence around. And thus, he opted for a warm water bath to relax his nerves and after massaging his body for about half an hour with this soothing liquid, he came out and laid beside his boy.

Moving his fingers inside his hairs, he murmured, making sure of no disturbance to his sleep, "Pata nahin Tarika main humare bete ko kya jawab dunga tumhare bare mein jab woh mujhse sawal karega. Mujhme itni himmat nahin hai ki main isse face kar sakun aur sari sachayi bata sakun. Har pal is dar mein guzarta hai ki kahin yeh bhi na mujhe chhod kar chala jaye, tumhari tarah..." He was deep into the dreamland that wasn't soothing but disturbing. That was a place no less than a grave, intensely gloomy and lending nothing other than pain and agony to this man of pure heart, tough intellect and strong physique.

He didn't know when he released himself nto the lap of sleep and closed his eyes to open them the next day so that they can visualise the new happenings of the coming day.

_**A/N : So, how was it? Please tell if I should continue or not! :D**_


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I know that saying sorry wouldn't be enough for the time I took in updating this. But still, my hearty apologies for keeping you guyz waiting. This will not be repeated. From now on, updates will be regular.

Here's a long chapter with mature Abhirika :D.

Thank you all for such a warm welcome. To be honest, I never expected such an overwhelming response. Thanks a bunch, a ton. I am so much in awe of the reviews, thank you for reviewing. I can't thank in person due to time constraint, so sorry for that.

No more ranting as for now, enjoy reading.

_"I. Am. Not. Talking. To. You.", she said heavily stressing on every word that she grumpily uttered._

_"I am sorry na jaan", he said holding the most innocent expressions that he could manage and touching the pinna of his ears._

_She, not at all looking interested in his apology and if to be particular, him in actual, turned around ignoring him on his face and continued with the task she was preoccupied with, 'dusting'. This led to a hard atmosphere arising in and around him but he decided not to give up and fight his self-caused odds like brave hearts that he actually was. He, knowing her weakness quite well, hugged her from behind with his hands coiling around her waist obliquely from base of the stomach and his chin placed on her shoulder and said very softly, not above a whisper and pouring in all the love he possessed in his sentence, making sure that it sounded no less than a nightingale's hymn and tasted sweeter than honey, "Sorry Baby! I promise this will not be repeated. You know how much I love you, isn't it?"_

_Not many moments passed that she started feeling herself melting in his cozy shell bordered by his arms and anterior of the body and losing herself in his warm breaths. She could feel him so prominently that his heartbeats and breaths were not less than a pleasant noise for her and this very realisation produced goosebumps in her body and became a cause of fresh new formation of butterflies in her stomach which were proliferating in numbers with every passing second of their closeness. It wasn't the first time that they were so near but every succeeding time she experiences a stronger irresistible attraction towards him as if her intensity to be magnetised by his charismatic personality and hypnotised by out-worldly touch increases every next time. She was again under the control of his lethally magnetic persona and inner beauty when her brain beeped, burped and ultimately bombed causing her heart to retreat and the very next moment she realised that she was angry on him._

_Softly removing his hands from around her waist and supporting his chin with her forefinger, she turned about and spoke steeply bringing the most possible coldly calm expressions to her face, "Don't act smart with me, Mr. Abhijeet. (strongly) Better you stay away and lemme clear all this mess (pointing around the scattered room decorated with thin lining of dust and beautiful webs adorning the walls)."_

_Saying this, she moved towards the kitchen and Abhijeet too started following her when he heard a stiff tone as, "Don't ever dare to come after me", her voice gradually fainted with the completion of the sentence as she was going farther every passing second. He instantly stopped, losing to his adamant legs which were not ready to even stir a bit as ordered by the practical brain and pitied upon his gloomy and emotional heart for being so vulnerable to his ultimate boss, the matter inside his skull. He, still not accepting his defeat, tried to speak up but his tongue refused to even budge and the air that he had already released from his lungs stuck in his throat, completely denying to complete its course and reach to the final destination. And, by the time, he could manage his senses and coordinate his organs to speak out his heart defeating his mind, his lady was gone. He could feel anger arising within him for being so lethargic but what he can do now for something that has passed?! As for now, he found it better to complain the Almighty about what all was happening and looking at the ceiling, he spluttered something that was better known to him only._

_"Gosh! She is stubbornly mad on me. It's gonna be tough this time. Be ready for the un-welcomed hardships, Sr. Inspector Abhijeet.", he murmured to himself and then, helplessly strolled to the nearby couch and dumped himself on to it waiting for his love to return. It took her around 15 minutes to be back to the living room where he was sitting motionless staring at the unknown. Her presence caused him to stand up in a jiffy. Their eyes met and he almost started the talk through eyes when she rolled her eyeballs towards the left and headed towards the bedroom. She didn't even took few steps when felt some force around her wrist stopping her from moving forth. She tried to get lose of that tight grip but all in vain. 'Ah! How silly of me', she thought, 'He's a CID officer!'_

_She was still lost in measuring her dumbness when he twisted her hand lightly, cautious enough not to hurt her and gingerly turned her towards himself in a position that both are facing each other, nose to nose, eyes to eyes. "Tarika please", he pleadingly uttered. 'Awe! Anyone would fallen for him at this moment. His puppy eyes (:p) and absolute sweet efforts! Gosh! I am so lucky to have him in my life.', all this was floating in her mind. But, but she was not in a mood to leave him that easily this time. Determined to the darkest depth, she stamped her foot hard and a warning arose out of her brain with a constant pronounced scowl stitched to her face, "Don't Mr. Abhijeet! Who are you to feel me?"_

_"Your fiance, deary", he said lovingly in a reflex._

_Soon, his reflexes backfired and he said in a tough voice, "Hey, I'm not feeling you." It was as if a man's ego started to interfere between them._

_"Then what?", a straight question undeliberately flew out of her mouth._

_"Sorry?", he uttered confusingly._

_Oh! Wreck! What was her question all about? She slapped herself in her head for letting the conversation go off track and to bring it back to the main course diverted it's route as, "Hey, what did you say? You! My fiance?", the last three words saw widening of her eyes with ticking of the clock._

_"Yeeesss (this was stretched in obvious). D'ya have some doubt?", he replied with a question in the end, which, she was actually expecting._

_She nodded meaningfully in affirmation and this led him to release a disappointed air. He, then, forced his lower jaw towards his right with his lower lip sliding down the upper laterally and ultimately, protruding in his right, to control his emotions which, by then, were enraging to flow._

_After calming himself down, he pulled her near him supporting her waist from his hands and entangling his wrists at her backside, he asked in a murmur after bringing his face closer to hers, "Are you still in confusion?"_

_She opened her lips to protest the closeness but shut them immediately following his forefinger being placed there. "You only answer me!", he whispered._

_"Yes", she breathed._

_As a result, he moved more closer to her and seductively asked, "Now, what do you have to say?"_

_She nodded this time, as a result of which, he pulled her more closer to him that now, the racing heart beats were quite audible to them, of course, of each other. He could see her mellowing down and realised that he was forgiven. So, he brought his lips near hers and was to pin them to hers when her hand pushed his face backwards and she said naughtily with smiling eyes and while hitting his nose lightly with her first finger, "I have forgiven you but you need to own me completely for this."_

_"That's not fair Tarika. Am your beau.", Abhijeet complained._

_"I promised my dad, Abhi. Not before marriage.", she complained_

_"I don't care.", he pouted_

_"But I do and you should learn to..", she said. The latter part was ambiguous and it didn't take him a second to understand that._

_"I am really very, very sorry Taru", he spoke breaking the momentary silence that prevailed after that ambiguity was consciously introduced by Tarika._

_"For what?", she questioned turning away._

_He turned her towards him and said holding her face in his hands, "Try to understand Taru. It was the need of the moment. I couldn't have put four more lives on stake for the sake of mine."_

_"And mine? What about my life Abhijeet?", her voice started to tremble a bit and her gaze turning teary now._

_He had no answer to that and so, hanged his head down in guilt because somewhere in deep or probably everywhere, he knew that he forgot about her completely at that time. He could give thousand excuses to her to satisfy her but what about him and his heart in particular, can he really satiate that thirst which was killing him from inside from the past week? No! And therefore, he decided to give vent to his feelings for her, "Tarika, I, I accept my mistake, my carelessness, my carefree attitude. I could have given you countless excuses, like, it was the spur of the moment that forced me to do that and blah, blah; but the point here is what you mean to me and where you stand in mah life. Yes, I admit that I completely forgot about you when I was hanging down the cliff just above that 1000 metres high water fall but believe me it was my subconscious mind that was at fault but since that also belongs to me, it's me who is to be blamed. But, believe me, I love you tons. And you are my first priority. No one is prior to you and no one can take your place, never ever. You are my life. I fear losing your love, your trust, actually you, as a whole. Probably, this was the reason why my mind didn't remind me of you because it knew that your very thought would make it difficult for me to take that step. But, whatever be the reason I am the culprit and the lone guilt-bearer. You punish me in whatever way you want to."_

_"No Abhi. Please. I don't want you to be ashamed of what you did. It was a part of your duty, I completely understand. I can empathise you but, but at the same time I too fear losing you. You mean world to me, you know that. You are my beats. You have become an inseparable part of my life. You are not only the filler of the void that sustained in me before you entered into my world but also the fuel that ignites countless happy sparks in my life and helps me to propel smoothly. Sincerely, I never want to be an obstruction in your line of duty but, sometimes, I don't know what happens to me that I, ..., that I..." and she stopped. She was in loss of words. No, it was not that she lacked in being a lexicon but it was her present senti state that forced her into this abrupt and awkward silence._

_"I am sorry Abhi. I didn't mean that.", she said apologetically._

_"No Tarika. Please don't be. It wasn't your fault, neither it is. And, you have this right to be possessive for someone with whom you have decided to spend rest of your life and I respect your feelings. In fact, it's me who needs to counsel his ways so that he could handle both his personal and professional life efficiently and that too without disturbing any of the two. I will try my level best to live up to your expectations, henceforth. I promise, I will soon learn to manage my ways to take up the responsibilities brewing up in my life proficiently.", said Abhijeet assuring her._

_Tarika smiled through tears listening to him and seeing the deepest love in his eyes for her. She flung on to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. He too wrapped her in his arms and the couple hugged tightly, it was a bone-crushing hug._

_"Ah Tarika! I am suffocating.", he said lightly._

_She separated and hit his arms with, "Yooouuu!"_

_And she chased him around the house as he ran after escaping from her grip. After a while, they ended up at the couch, exhausted to hell. Both looked at each other and laughed aloud looking at each other's condition, hairs completely messed up and breaths out of order. Tarika shifted a bit and placed her head on his shoulder. They remained like this for some time in complete silence._

_"Tarika?", Abhijeet said breaking the silence._

_"Hmmmm", she said while still resting her head on his shoulder._

_"Ummm, I want a promise from you"_

_"Go ahead."_

_"Promise me to be by my side always. Whatever comes in the way and however tough be the circumstances, I will override all but only if you are there standing beside me, with me. I need you every moment because you are the only power that can keep me moving otherwise I'll be stagnated like I was before you came in my life."_

_Lifting her head from his shoulders, she said taking his hands securely in hers, "I'll be always there for you, my Love, always. I Promise!"_

"You broke your promise Tarika, you broke it.", he closed his eyes with these words as few tears escaped.

"And, and I hate you for that, I hate you. No, actually, (in a low voice) I love to hate you." And he burst into tears burying his face in his palms.

A small figure sneaked in from the terrace door and walked towards this broken soul with small steps, giving the feel of tip-toed gait in particular. With little fingers and all the force it had in him, it pulled his tee. Abhijeet instantly looked up and clearing his wet face, glanced at that innocent soul which asked him, "Papa, Good Morning."

This initiated a shot of realisation in him and he looked around to find that it's morning already. He smiled with all his strength but can only manage the faintest one and then replied, "Hey Tiger, Good Morning. By the way, who wake you up?"

"Mohan kaka"

"Hmm, so let's go downstairs. You have to go to school and for that you need to get ready. Isn't it my champ."

"Yes dad.", saying this, he jumped on to his lap and kissed his ckeecks with, "Papa, I want you to take me down."

"Sure beta.", Abhijeet said kissing him back

"Ummm, Adi?"

"Yes Papa", he said so lovingly that Abhijeet tightened his shell around him.

"Are you angry on me?"

"No. Why?"

"I came home late yesterday despite promising you of early arrival."

"It's fine Papa. I know you have work. And I don't like getting angry on you."

"Really? And why so?"

"Because I Love You!"

"I Love You too, beta."

"And, and because I don't want to lose you like Mumma.", teary-eyed son of Abhrika said.

Abhijeet tightened his grip around him and said, "Adi, your Mumma is here only. She is with you only, beta."

"I know Papa."

"Adi, d'ya know I brought your favourite cookies yesterday?"

"Yes?"

"Yeah! And we will have them in breakfast today, OK?"

"Yippee! Thank You Papa."

"Welcome, my child. But you need to fresh yourself up for that, right?"

"Yes."

"Then, let's move."

And they climbed down the stairs to welcome this new day of their life...

A/N : Thanks for reading. Please review.

Healthy criticisms are more than welcomed.

From now on, updates will be regular, i.e., on the fourth day.

Bye and take care till the next update comes. 


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